Sometimes I think that I am the queen of not being able to let go. There are some people that I can’t let go of. There are some ideas that I can’t shake off, the expectations that I put on myself. The thoughts that are inside my head when I can’t go to sleep at night. Sometimes I just don’t know when to let go.
Letting Go Of “Friends”
I don’t know what it is, I don’t know if I just have a lot of empathy or I just get attached to people easily. I have trouble letting go of friendships and toxic relationships with people, I tend to let them weigh me down and fill not-so-great thoughts in my head. There are friends that only call or message me when they need me, there are friends that are nowhere to be seen when I need them and then there are friends that designate you as the “back up” friends. In friendships, there are no back ups, at least not in my life. I think that one of the things that I will be more aware of and hopefully will make the process letting go easier would be to remind myself that I should only surround myself with people that get me and want the best for me. I want to be friends with someone that gives it 100% like I do, having friends that make you feel more alone than I already am is no friend of at all.
Letting Go Of Past Loves
This is probably one of the hardest things that I can’t seem to master. One of the things that I am not unable to fully say out loud is that I still miss him. After all these years, there is a bit of my heart that stayed with him, so I always seem to keep hoping that one day we will be together. This is the classic battle between the heart and the brain is one that is never ending with me. My head knows that this person is not the person for me, and deep down inside, I know that I deserve so much better than what he could ever give me. But then there’s my heart, my damn heart. No matter how much I remember the pain and the hurt that he caused, my heart still flutters when I hear his name. My heart skips a beat when I see pictures of me, my heart also sinks when I think of why he left. My head knows to let go, but my heart is too attached. I have tried to let go of this aspect of my life for years, but I think that I have reached my limit, I need to really let go. I need to write down all the things that I don’t love about him, I need to remind myself the reasons why I can’t go back to him. Every single time that I feel like I am going back to the same toxic pattern, I need to take a step back and reevaluate why I shouldn’t.
Letting Go ideas and Dreams
I am by no means saying that you should give up on a life long dream, I think that we should strive to complete everything that we want to accomplish, but there are times when you need to reevaluate what you want and what you don’t want. Sometimes you just have to let go of a dream. One of the first dreams I had to let go of was my career of choice, I wanted this so bad but unfortunately it was not meant to be. While in school, the more I studied, the more frustrated I became. Eventually, I realized that I needed to do something that made me happy and since that it wasn’t, I had to let go. At the time, this is how I thought, but now there are lingering regrets that I have. I should gotten tutoring, I should have just struggled until I didn’t, these are the constant thoughts that I have. Even though things like these are not set in stone, I can go back to school and finish what I started, I need to let it go. I need to let go of my “what ifs” and the pressure and guilt I give myself. I need to learn how to live and let live.
Letting Go of Loved Ones
Unfortunately, this is something that everyone has to do. Death is something that is certain. There is a time to be born, a time to live, and a time to not be alive. But there’s another heartbreaking time that no one likes, it’s when someone is actively dying. In my lifetime I have had 3 deaths impact me. One was a friend’s, even though he died suddenly, he was so young and never had the change to live a full life. Another death was my cousin, his life was full of sadness and sickness, including his death. His death was slow and horrifying, even though I miss him, I am glad that he is no longer suffering. Right now I am dealing with the impending death of my grandmother. Even though she has lived a long time and she has lived a great life, it is hard to let go of someone so connected to you. You know that they have to go first, but you can’t fully let go. I wish she could be around forever, but I also know that she needs to be at peace and healthy again, and there is only one place where she can be like this. The place is not here.
Letting go is something that is hard to do, but it’s something that everyone needs to do. What is something that you need to let go of?